


Maple Tap

by raktajinos



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canada, Crack, Drinking & Talking, Female Friendship, Female Relationships, Gen, Maple Syrup Tapping, X-Men References, more than you wanted to know about maple tapping, sugar coma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-29 22:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raktajinos/pseuds/raktajinos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy takes Pepper, Sif, Maria, Jane and Natasha maple syrup tapping in the Canadian north.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maple Tap

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> 1: I hope you enjoy this, I loved writing it. Femgen crack was a great assignment!
> 
> 2: You may in fact feel like you didn't need to know this much about maple syrup, but it happened anyways :P and now you know! I assure you, gentle reader, that all the information about maple tapping is correct (I'm Canadian, done it several times lol).
> 
> 3: Apparently there's a Canadian accent with Nev's voice, so role with it :P
> 
> 4: I am personally addicted to maple flavoured products and it is indeed possible to eat a whole jar of spread. I'm not proud, but it happened. 
> 
> 5: thanks to thy3tuth_iswon for the beta!

“oh my god Darcy! Are we almost there?!” Jane complained loudly, stomping another foot into the snow, “we’ve been walking for hourrrrsss”

.

“Actually, it has only been two of your solar hours,” Sif replied enthusiastically from her spot at the front of the line. 

The group grumbled and Darcy threw Sif a dirty look; it was her fault they were here in the first place. Well, technically, it had been Darcy’s suggestion to go maple syrup tapping so it was _technically_ her own fault for standing them here, in the snow. But she’d only done it to punish Sif - who had complained that none of the activities Darcy had planned had been ‘physical’ enough. Which was just fine with Darcy - she was a lifelong fan of the minimal effort activity; the less she had to do the better. An afternoon off meant a trip to the pub or playing video games or, most recently, teasing Steve. So she’d thought up this….antiquated activity hoping to punish the goddess and make her rethink how fun the other activities actually were. 

There was one major flaw in her plan. Not only was this _not_ a punishment for Sif (the woman was practically bouncing with enjoyment) but she had, in her stead, managed to punish _all_ of her girl friends. And judging from the nasty looks Maria had tossed her way, she would not be put in charge of group activities again. 

Which is how she found herself trekking across the Canadian wilderness with Jane, Natasha, Maria, Sif, and Pepper. The snow had to be at least two meters deep and it had stretched as far as the eye could see, and Darcy was again grateful she’d had the foresight to rent them all snowshoes...well again, technically, Tony rented the shoes….and paid for the plane….and the guide. But it was totally Darcy’s idea and so she was going to take all the credit. 

They were heading into a large forest which they saw crest the horizon at the top of the last hour. “Its not much further,” she assured them, noticing the slow increase of tap buckets on the trees around them. 

She’d picked this activity because it was something she hadn’t done in years and the last time she did she had a surprisingly good time. It was an unique activity and despite her disdain for the epic hiking to get there, she hoped her friends would enjoy it as well. 

“You said that a mile ago,” Pepper teased, and Darcy stuck her tongue out at her. 

They continued to hike through the forest, the trees growing thicker the further in they went, the only sound the crunch and swoosh of their show-shoes moving through the snow. If Darcy was being honest and put aside her loathing for physical activity, she could admit that it was a beautiful day and the hike was actually rather pleasant. It was early March, the sun was blazing bright in the sky and a cold wind blew in from across the empty field next to the forest. It was the time of year that was still clearly winter, yet the wind held the promise of a spring soon to arrive. She’d always preferred winter, loved the snow, fuzzy socks and hot beverages, preferably alcoholic); a preference that made her work with Jane in the hottest place known to man - namely the New Mexico desert, particularly hard to take some days. She was a devout follower of The Air Conditioner. 

“I think we’re almost there,” Natasha said. Darcy woke up from her day dream and focused her eyes on the path in front of them. A few meters away there was a small wooden hut with puffs of smoke coming out of the tiny chimney on its roof. 

“Yup, we’re here,” she confirmed and pushed to the front of their line.

“Nev!” she yelled, breaking the calming silence of the woods. 

A tall woman in a striped sweater stepped out of the hut, “Darcy!” she yelled back, stomping through the snow to meet the other woman, pulling her into a tight hug. 

“Its been so long! How are you?” she asked. 

Darcy smiled, it was good to see her friend again, “I’m good. Doing some _interesting_ work to be sure.”

“Oh from what I’ve heard I can believe it.” 

Nev gave a slight nod of her head to the group of women behind them. Darcy turned to look at them, “Oh, my bad. Nev this is Pepper, Jane, Natasha, Sif and Maria. Guys this is Nev,” introducing the group. 

“Welcome! So nice to meet some friends of my Darcy” she smiled, greeting each woman with a hug. Darcy would forever remember the awkward image of Natasha, ninja-queen, getting a bear hug from a strange woodswoman. 

“Come on in, take a rest for a moment,” Nev said, moving towards the small hut. They all shuffled in behind her, eager for a break - except Sif who had barely broken a sweat.

“How was your hike here?”

“Oh it was most invigorating,” Sif said, taking a seat around at the hearth table “it reminded me of many such travels I had as a child.”

“I’m glad. Where are you from?” she asked of Sif

“Sif here comes from Norway,” Maria replied quickly, her demeanor calm and non suspect. 

“Maria is correct, Norway. Many beautiful hiking trails there,” Sif echoed, catching on. It was moments like this that reminded Darcy of why Maria was in charge; she was calm and a quick thinker.

“Always wanted to go there….” Nev said, unaware of any duplicity and set about serving them all some tea, which they all held tightly in their hands to warm up. 

“So Darcy said that you all work together” 

“In a manner of speaking, yes. We run into each other more often than not,” said Pepper. 

“You look familiar,” she said, nodding at Pepper

“I’m on TV quite a bit these days. I work with Tony Stark”

“Ahhh yes, thats right. All that SHIELD business. Oh don’t worry, Darcy here hasn’t told me anything, I have my sources,” she explained at the look on their faces. 

It was at that comment that Darcy was confident Maria would be doing a more in-depth background check when they got back to civilization. SHIELD might be less-than-secret knowledge these days, but it wasn’t as common as Starbucks. 

“Do you live up here alone?” Natasha inquired.

“Oh goodness no. This is just a hunting lodge I share with a few friends. I live just north of Vancouver. I love the woods, but this gal can’t live without plumbing and some available men for very long,” she winked back, causing Jane to cough into her tea. Darcy gave her a quick thump on the back. 

“What is it that you do, Nev?” Maria fished. Okay, maybe she wouldn’t wait until they got back to the city before doing research. 

“I like to call myself a Finder. I….procure things that people are looking for. Which is how I met Darcy” 

Darcy grinned, remembering her first run in with Nev years back. 

“Oh, we’ll have to hear that story at some point,” Jane said. 

“I’m afraid it is not mine to tell. You will have to bribe it out of Darcy. If my recollection serves, she has a weakness for expensive chocolate and malt liquor” 

“Nev!” Darcy chastized, “dont give away all my secrets”. The woman just grinned back mischeviously.  
“Well, have any of you ever tapped a tree before?” she said, turning the conversation back to the topic at hand. They all shook their heads, except Darcy. 

“I once drank the sap of a katalp tree, but I do not believe it was the same technique,” Sif said in her adorably awkward way. Darcy loved the woman, but man she was weird sometimes. 

“Good good. Well lets put our coats back on and get started then eh.”

They put down their empty tea cups and once again piled into their outdoor gear. As they exited the hut, Nev gave each of them a large silver bucket, a hammer, a spout, and a manual hand drill.

“I’ve put aside seven trees for us - one for me to demonstrate and then one for each of you to tap yourself. Come this way,” and she started walking further into the forest. 

“Yay, more hiking,” Pepper said, feining excitement. 

“Oh come on” replied Darcy, giving her a push, “there’s a treat in it at the end for you”

“Well, that changes things.” 

“Sarcasm is my language, it doesn’t look so good on you there Potts” Darcy teased. 

\--

It turned out to not be that much more hiking, about fifteen minutes. They stopped in a small groove, silver buckets on trees all around them. 

“Okay, so these are sugar maple trees - different than regular maples.” Nev explained, roughly patting the large tree next to her. 

“You can get sap from pretty much any tree, but it won’t always make a good syrup. Sugar Maples are the best for that. You can tell them apart by the rough, almost flaky-cracked appearance of the bark. Most people think the sap comes from the top of the tree, but in fact it comes up from the roots. Thats why the best trees for tapping are ones with large, thick roots.” Again she patted the tree. 

“If you’ll all come a little closer. Now we want to tap the tree on the biggest root, so this big boy here,” she motioned to a large leg of the tree that sprawled into the ground.

“What we’re going to do is take your drill,” she held up the antiquated hand-cranked device “and we’re going to drill into the trunk of the tree, a little less than a meter up the tree. We only need to drill in about an inch to get to the sap.”

Nev put the drill head against the trunk and lightly started the crank the handle, stopping a few moments later, and pulling the drill out. 

“See, not that hard. And look, you can already see some of the sap starting to pour out,” she said, poking her finger into the clear liquid that started coming out of the hole in the tree. 

“Then we’re going to take our spout piece, place it in the hole, and give it a gentle whack with the hammer to secure it,” she did the whacking as she spoke. 

“Then we’re going to attach the bucket to the little hook under the spout, put the lid on, and bam! we’re done. The sap will pour down the spout and collect into the bucket.” 

“Any questions?” Nev asked the group. They all stared at the tools in their hands and the trees around them. 

“Darcy, how about you go first,” she said. 

“K.” 

Darcy walked up to her assigned tree and followed Nev’s instructions, picking the biggest root to start with, and getting her drill ready. 

“Drill that tree Darc,” she heard Natasha tease. “Drill it good.” 

The others started laughing and Darcy started making lewd gestures toward the tree as she drilled it. 

“That poor tree will never be the same again,” Jane said in between giggles.

“Who you kidding, all the other trees are just jealous now. They _all_ want a piece of Darcy Lewis!” she said. 

Darcy moved onto the whacking of the spout, which prompted more sexual comments from Natasha, briefly causing Darcy to wonder if the Russian had spiked her own tea in the cabin. She placed the bucket on the hook and turned around proudly, hands on hips. 

“Ha! Done.” 

“Good work. Now, you all get on your own trees. Darcy and I will help.”

“Ya, Natasha, go drill your own wood.” Darcy said

“With relish,” the redhead replied, a dirty look in her eyes. 

Pepper, Maria, Jane and Natasha all moved to their respective trees and started following the instructions Nev gave them. 

“Seriously Darcy, where did you learn to do this?” Jane asked as she eyed her tree up and down. 

“It was a few years ago, before we met. I was doing some travelling. Met Nev and a man named Logan, and they showed me.”

“Logan? You’ve never mentioned him.” 

A whistful smile came over Darcy’s face, she hadn’t thought about him in a while. “Long story. Maybe another time.”

“Did I hear you mention Logan?” Nev asked, coming up behind her. 

“Damn woman. I forgot how good your hearing was,” Darcy said startled. 

“How is Logan? Its been a few years.”

“Last I heard he was doing well. Maria would probably know more.”

Maria gave Darcy a stern look from her position at the next tree and Darcy knew she’d be having a _’discussion’_ later with the boss about just how much she knew about highly secretive government departments and their agents. 

Nev looked over to Maria, awaiting a response. “He is…fine.” 

“Send him my regards the next time you see him,” she said and moved over to help Pepper with her tree.

“Oh! Kay, now I _really_ need to know this story,” Jane said under her breath. 

“Later,” Darcy replied. It was a long story and she’d require wine to tell it. 

“How long until there is enough sap to produce a syrup?” Maria asked. 

“It depends on the weather, but its usually only a couple of days for the bucket to fill. It takes forty parts of maple sap to make one part syrup, and the boiling time depends on the size of the batch.” Nev answered.

“So we will not get to taste syrup made from our efforts today,” Sif stated. 

“No, but we can collect some filled buckets and start boiling that down today. I’ve already done some of the prep work. So there will be syrup eating today.” 

“Excellent,” Pepper said. 

“If we’re all done here, and you’ve all done a remarkable job, lets head on back to the cabin. I’ll tell you which buckets to grab.”

\--

They headed back to the cabin, each of them hauling a giant, filled heavy bucket of sap in either hand. 

“A multiple hour hike _and_ pack mule activity. You do know how to plan activities Lewis,” Maria complained in jest.

“As a warrior Maria Hill, this is actually excellent physical conditioning. Well done Darcy,” Sif replied, walking casually up the hill with her two buckets as if they weighed nothing. 

“Frakn goddess.” she whispered under her breath. 

Pepper smirked at her, groaning as they released their loads around the large fire pit behind the cabin. “Would seriously love her stamina.” 

“Wouldn’t we all.” 

They all moved to stand around the giant industrial-sized bucket that sat over the fire, where Nev was instructing them to pour the contents of their buckets in to. 

They made Sif do it. 

“Now, it will take a few hours for it to boil and reduce completely, but I have another one over here that I started this morning that should be done soon” Nev said, directing them to an identical pot and fire a few meters away. 

“I wont bore you with the super technical details, but basically what we’re going to do next is filter the sap reduction to get out any unwanted particles that might be in there. Pepper, want to come help?”

Pepper stepped forward to stand next to Nev near the giant pot. 

“You hold this,” she said, handing Pepper a medium sized bucket with a cloth covering “under here,” pointing to the nozzle that was at the bottom of the boiling pan “and Jane, why don’t you come turn it on.”

Always the proficient scientist, Jane took this task seriously and turned the spout on slowly, allowing the hot liquid to pour down into the bucket Pepper was holding. “Good, nice and slow. Don’t want to burn Pepper here now do we”. She was joking, but the look of worry that creased over Pepper’s face was hilarious. 

Darcy watched gleefully as Pepper carried the now-full bucket of scalding hot liquid over to the secondary burner, remember she’d been the one forced to do that task when she was out here last time. It was nerve wracking. All that hot syrup you could trip and spill on yourself. 

“Now it has to reboil - to 217 degrees, and then we’re done!” Nev said excitedly. “What shall we do while we wait?” 

“I have some vodka in my bag.” Natasha suggested. “What? I’m Russian.” she said at the incredulous looks from the others. 

“I like Natasha’s idea,” Sif said. “Let us drink to a good day and good company.”

“Hard to argue with that logic” Natasha said, fishing the bottle out from her bag which had been left at the cabin. 

“How long will the boil take?” Darcy asked, accepting the bottle from Sif and taking a swig.

“Maybe half an hour” Nev replied. “I’ve got maple snacks though if you want.”

“You’ve had maple snacks this whole time and didn’t say anything!” Darcy cried. 

“I wanted you to work for it,” 

“Well we did. Now go get them.”

\--

They spent the next half an hour, literally waiting for a pot to boil, drinking vodka and eating maple treats: cookies, creams, and the like. 

“This is exceptional product!” Sif exclaimed, unabashedly digging a spoon back into a container of maple spread. 

“You’re going to make yourself sick.” Maria said, taking another cookie from the container. 

“It will be a pleasant death.” replied Sif dramatically, taking another spoonful. 

Darcy looked around at her friends and reflected on the great day she’d had. She was exhausted, a little drunk and nursing one hell of a sugar coma, but she was glad she’d brought them out her to experience this. It was great to see Nev again, but more over it was great to get her friends away from the stresses of their jobs, away from having the fate of the world in their hands. To just be themselves and relax in the Canadian woods with a crazy woodswoman and boil some sap. 

“Its done!” Nev said, more than a little drunk herself. A great combination, Darcy reflected, hot liquid and drunk people. 

“Pepper, get that bucket over there - the one with the filter on it,” she ordered. 

She did as ordered, but with a little grumbling about being the one to yet again handle the hot liquid, assisting as Nev poured the hot syrup through the filter and into the bucket. 

“Its done! Now, the best way to eat this is as a taffy,” she motioned for them all to follow her as she went, bucket in hand, behind the large fire pit area to a raised bed filled with snow and little popsicle sticks. 

Nev raised the bucket and waivered a bit, “um, perhaps you had better pour this Natasha. I seem to have drunk more than I thought.” 

Natasha, the least drunk of them all, took the bucket from Nev and poured a little bit of the syrup onto the snow, the tip of the popsicle stick in it. Nev took the stick and smooshed the syrup around as it hardened in the snow, making it glob onto the stick in a sort of banana shape. She did that with each one and handed them all a stick of taffy of their own. 

“Delicious!” Darcy said, licking her stick clean. Oh ya, total sugar coma now. The rest of the group murmured their agreement as their licked their taffy sticks clean. 

They helped themselves to three more maple snow taffy sticks before they all collapsed around the fire, exhausted and full of sugar. 

“Ugggg, we have to make that hike all over again,” Jane complained loudly “I’m too full of sugar.”

“I….second that complaint,” Sif echoed. 

“Well frak, if Sif is too drunk and high on sugar to do it than the rest of us have no hope.” Darcy said. 

“Though I am the only one who consumed a whole container of maple spread. The rest of you had more….restraint.” Sif confessed, a bit of shame in her voice. 

“No shame Sif! No shame! You eat that maple,” Maria said, still clearly a little drunk. 

“I will send you home with some extra containers,” Nev said and despite her condition, Sif looked positively hungry at the idea. 

“Screw it. I’m calling the helicopter,” Pepper exclaimed, pulling out her phone and making a brief call. “It will be here in twenty minutes. Whats the point of being the CEO of a multinational company if I can’t call in a few favours.”

They all lapsed into comfortable silence, waiting for their ride to arrive. 

“Why didn’t we _take_ the helicopter up here?” Maria asked.


End file.
